Tuesday, February 17, 2009

6th question

6: When your children were growing up, did you let them explore and be open to ideas about their gender, society stereotypes, etc. or did you teach them how society viewed certain issues. For example, did you let your daughters play with cars in the dirt and did you let your sons play with dolls and play dress up or did you tell them that dolls and dresses are for females only and cars and dirt are for boys only.
When our children were young there was no reason to discuss gender ideas or society stereotypes because we were all comfortable with who we were and the subject didn’t come up (that I remember). We never told our kids that they couldn’t do something because they were female/male. In fact, the girls helped in the barn and with the livestock as well as the guys. Although there were some things that their dad didn’t ask them to do because they were girls. (they were happy about that) I think the reason the girls helped outside was because more hands were needed and that wasn’t the case in the house. Consequently the guys didn’t do too much in the house and they had their chores outside. I remember one time when your dad (Randy)was home from Fargo I asked him to help me with dishes because I had to go somewhere that evening - he looked at me and said “that’s women’s work” Boy, did that get me steamed so I retorted “ok, next time the cows get out, that’s men’s work”. I don’t know where he got that idea because I don’t remember either grandpa or me saying “that’s womens/mens work”. I don’t remember if he helped me or not. I also remember Barbara telling me that she was asked a similar question in a college class and she told them of the time that your dad was giving he a knuckle sandwich” (ask John what that is if you don’t know) quite often and I told her that since she and your dad (Randy) were the same size at the time she should “give it too him” and she did. Her class mates were surprise that her mother told her to beat up her brother. Barbara didn’t really like to help outside so she often would get a meal ready so that I could help outside since I would rather do that than cook. We all helped with baling hay and stacking it in the barn


Brownie said...

82 times. He hit me 82 times. Not all at once. I counted. For some reason number 82 was the limit. You said "you're as big as him - hit him back"

I did.

Karen and David sat on his arms, I sat on his chest. I hit him back. 82 times. Then I stopped.

He yelled "mom! mom!"

You just sat at the kitchen table reading a magazine and said "you had it coming."

I asked. Randy doesn't remember this at all. Karen does.

Also - I never cleaned the pig pens. Dad said he wasn't having his daughters do that. Karen did - but she wanted to. Always thought she was a little odd.

The Lehr's said...

Hmmm....that's funny that my dad doesn't remember that because when I was little, he would always tell me how important it was not to hit and pick on others and he would tell me about what Barbara did to him. But that was a while ago...my dad has gotten a little goofy since he's been 50 or so..shhh, don't tell him I said that!