Make a Smilebox slideshow

Trick or treat

A lot of post I've been reading having been about holloween. I don't remember tricks or treating when I was a kid although I suppose I did since we lived in a neighborhood with ...... oh yah, those "mean" boys. :) so maybe I didn't. Actually they turned out to be ok - one was even my escort at the homecoming dance. ( I was a homecoming queen attendant). I think my kids dressed up - but B would remember if they did or didn't. I do remember that we had kids come to our door when we lived in Austin, MN- lots of kids. One year as the evening got later we had bigger kids - bigger than our neighborhood kids. We lived on a circle and when Lowell looked down the road he saw cars and when we asked the kids where they lived they said "Northwest" hmmmm we lived Southwest. We were giving candy to big kids we didn't have a clue who they were. ------I had two dressed up kids come to my house this year - grandkids. One was a princess and the other a pirate.
I have never liked scary movies, haunted houses or anything of that sort so this week was very sparse for tv programs to watch. Although yesterday ALL day was NCIS one of my favorite shows. I really like Abby. Guess I'm rambling -
but totally unrelated: Got a text from David the truck driver, my son and neighbor, saying that he unexpectedly met up with Randy (my son the truck driver from Oregon) in Wyoming where they had lunch. They used to meet quite frequently but their routes have changed considerably so it doesn't happen nearly as often. Oh, and David said he met "Winter". He drove about 200 miles in a snow storm. Yuck!! I'll stop rambling now.

This was my grandparents house - it's a bit different now - has new siding. In the back my grandpa had built big gold fish ponds on both sides of the bridge that you see. Grandma had lots of dahlias and other flowers planted around the ponds. He built the bridge and light post from rocks he had collected. My cousin lived just a few blocks from here and we would often stop to visit and feed the fish on our way to the dairy that was just across the alley. He also had build a bird bath from rocks but that has long been gone. I loved that back yard. In the winter he would house the fish in big aquariums in the basement. I was only down there a few times because it was kind of scary as a kid. :) I don't know how many years he had the same gold fish but the were really big.

Since I didn't have any sisters my cousin was "my sister" I spent a lot of time at her house. We would kid that her mother was a "mole" because she would always close the drapes during the summer heat. And yes, it was cooler but you felt like a mole because it was so dark. There was no front porch, her bedroom was the dormer on the right and the house was painted white. There was a big apple tree where you see the driveway. We would climb the tree and although Dianne would eat those green apples (with salt :) I couldn't.

Houses I spent time in as a young girl

This is the house I grew up in. It hasn't changed at all. The upper window was my bedroom. (no air conditioning tho) It seem much bigger when I was little. There were red brick posts on either side at the end of the sidewalk and next to these were spirea bushes. The longer window in the front was the living room. We lived just 2 blocks from the entrance to the park where I spent a lot of time. Roller skating on the sidewalk was fun. There was another brick post opposite of me. Apprently this was taken in the winter.

It's been awhile

One whole summer has gone by without me blogging. The first summer without Lowell. I was really busy with music stuff: Northern Light Opera took up a lot of time especially evenings. We all did terrific performances of Fiddler on the Roof. Next Summer we're going to perform Music Man. I also was the piano player for the Hubbard Prairie Radio Hour that was performed two weekends in July in the new Akeley Community theatre. All this was very helpful in that I didn't have a lot of time to sit around. I still have a few moments here and there that I will get a bit weepy but for the most part I'm doing good.

And then there was my class reunion - 55 years!!!! I've gone to all my reunions but this is the first one without Lowell. He enjoyed them as much as I did. I expected to have a good time and I did but what I didn't expect was the emotions I felt when I went to church the next morning. It was the church Lowell and I grew up in and where we were married. Physically it hasn't changed much. I automatically sat in the same pew that we sat in when we visited and thought about our wedding and I remembered as a child (when I was bored) counting the ceiling tiles although I gave up before I got them all counted. They are the same tiles.

After church my sister-in-law's mother, sister and husband invited me to have lunch with them. After lunch I drove through the park where with a bunch of girlfriend spent much of our time. Then I drove around town: past the house I grew up in, my cousins house where I spent a lot of time and my grandma's and grandpa's house. My school is no longer there and I couldn't quite remember which house was Mrs. Marsh (my piano teacher). I took pictures which I will post.

So now it is Fall (with the snow it seems like winter) Classis Chorale is back in full swing although without Erich. He has taken a job as music minister in Washington State. He had been our director for 10 years and we will miss him. I was able to schedule my piano students all on Wednesday afternoon so that frees up some days that I can do other things.

Another first

Yesterday was my birthday - the first without Lowell. He would have taken me out to dinner - we each would have had steaks :-) But instead I went to breakfast with my usual Sunday breakfast group - they sang to me and the waitress gave me a blueberry cupcake with a candle on it. When I got home there was a birthday greeting Karen on the answering machine; later Randy called from Arkansas - he was waiting to load for home (oregon); then Barbara called. Later I went up the hill to David's house for supper. Barbequed chicken and rice. Bria made a spice cake - one of my favorites. A number of cards and other birthday greetings. A pretty good day after all.

Except for the wind today was beautiful and warm. The first of many beautiful days to come I hope.

Music, music, and more music

I think I've had my fill of music for a little while - at least for the weekend. Two weeks ago I had my students piano recital. A friend has some of his violin and guitar students join us and it was very nice to have a variety. I think the audience appreciated it. My two 11 year old grand daugters played a duet. One of them lives south of Fargo and so the only time they practiced together was about 2 hours before the recital and they did very well. Last week end the Park Rapid Classic Chorale (I'm accompanist) had a concert Friday night and saturday afternoon. We all did a terrific job. I played the organ for the Mozart's Coronation Mass. It was a transcription so it wasn't hard but I didn't have words to follow which is one way I can know where I am in the music and there were quite a few measures of rests so I had to COUNT all the way through. We had a chamber orchestra also to accompany which made the music even more enjoyable. That was about 20 minutes of the concert so we sang other songs too. Some were in Norwegion because some of the group is leaving for a concert tour of Norway on Monday. I'm not going - can't afford it for one thing and then I'm not at all interested in Norway. Last Monday morning I rehearsed with the Pine Ave vocal jazz quartet.

Then I got a cold so didn't feel well for a few days. Then I got a call "will you help with the HS choir?" Of course I said I would. so yesterday I spent a couple of hours with Roz (piano) and finding good settings on the keyboard (me) and this morning several hours again with the HS choir. Went to lunch with Roz and then came back for another hour with the choir. At 5:30 our vocal jazz group had a 'gig' at Bella Cafe. Different music all together: Summertime, Java, Somewhere over the rainbow, Puttin' on the ritz, Unforgettable were just some of the songs we did. It is such fun!! We have a string bass player that adds so much to the sound. And the bass singer plays guitar on a couple of pieces and sax on a couple more. He's so good. Jazz is a new adventure for me - it's a stretch but I'm enjoing.

Tomorrow I have nothing to do. oh, yah, I have a wedding to go to. I don't have to play just attend. Then Sunday I'm going to Cloquet to a Spa party at Karen's. I'm not sure what all that involves I just know that I don't have to do anything for a few days. I'll write about that later.

Weekend

This was the first Easter that I didn't have to play anything for any church service -not even a hymn. I don't think that has happened in all the years that I've been playing for church services. Although I enjoy playing for church it was kind of nice to be able to sit with my family -well, most of my family. Lowell's comment would have been. "It's about time" :) The early service was really nice. Lots of music and drama and an interpretive dance. And most importantly my 7 year old grandson was baptized.

Both daughters and their families were here and although the adults decided to sleep here the kids all went up the hill. We ate all the meals "up the hill" but people, big and little, were in and out of my house. It was a nice week end and when most of the family played softball Mathew and I watched. Changes are beginning again in our family. This was the first Easter without Lowell. Two of the grand kids have boy/girl friends that were here. And I wasn't the object of teasing this year as I have been in the past. That dubious honor has been passed to a daughter.

Most of the snow is gone in the yard. Yeah!!!! And I think I see just a hint of green here and there. Just hope that we don't get any snowstorms like we did last April. Like everyone else I will be really glad for green grass and green trees.

I was looking through my short videos and thought you all might get a kick of this one of Avery and Lowell. It's self explanatory.

Snow again

This is what Monday looked like

Calves

Reading The Pioneer Woman's blog this morning jogged my memory about the first time Lowell and I bought some calves. Remember now that I was raised in a town and new NOTHING about farming or livestock. We were living on the farm in Redwood and Lowell was driving a school bus. We bought 2 Holstein calves at a sale barn and brought them home in the back seat of our '49 Ford. (we took the back seat out) I was supposed to have bought milk replacer the day before(I forgot) so when it came time for the calves to be fed the next morning I first had to go to town to get it since Lowell was picking up kids. I mixed it like the directions said and filled two pails half full. Lowell told me that the idea was to stick the calves head into the pails and they would drink. Yah right. I pushed - they bucked - I pushed - they backed up. I finally got each one in a corner and after a bit of persuasion they drank. I was wet, my hands were slimy and I discovered muscles I didn't know I had. It didn't take long for them to learn to drink from the pail and later from a bottle and it was kind of fun to feed them.

Birthday

Today would have been Lowell's 84th birthday. I would have taken him out for dinner and he would have had a steak. Me too. Seems unreal that he's been gone for 7 months already. I miss him!! But he's doesn't hurt any more and is standing straight and tall and that's a good thing.

Were we ever this young?

Were we ever this young? :) This was taken at one of those picture booths at the fair in Redwood county. I think it was taken the summer before we were married.

Book

I just finished reading a most wonderful book (fiction): Heart and Soul by Sally Mandel. It is about music, sadness, music, fear, music, love, music, tragedy, music, loneliness, music, and love again.

The last questions and answers

9: What was dating like when you dated? Do you think dating has changed with your children and do you think dating now is different than when you dated? Do you think you will date again?

I didn’t date much because I was interested in grandpa. So I don’t know much about the “dating game” when I was young. I do know that guys/gals did things in groups. And I think that is still the same. I’m sure that dating has changed. If the opportunity comes I may date - although I’m not sure I would call it “dating” I do miss the company of a man. It would be fun (but not yet) to have dinner or go to some event with guy.

10: What was love like in your relationship? Was it love at first sight or did love grow?

I think for me it was love at first sight and your grandpa always told me that he knew he wanted to marry me from the time I was a young girl. I didn’t quite understand that but that’s what he said. I suppose like a lot of married couples then and maybe even now it was mostly a physical relationship at the beginning but as time went on our love changed. It became the undercurrent of our lives - always there. We had fun and laughed a lot, worked hard, argued some, didn’t always understand each other and sometimes didn’t like each other but we loved each other always.

12: Now that grandpa is gone, how are you dealing with the separation? Do you think you are handling it well What is/has been the hardest thing to deal with?

I think I’m dealing with the separation well. I think that the fact that grandpa, as a truck driver, was gone for a week or two has helped. Also, since he was gone a lot, I was the one who took care of the finances. So I didn’t have to learn to balance a check book or pay the bills since I already knew how. Also I’m fortunate that I can live in this house as long as I want and that David and his family live so close to me. And I know that all my children care about me and “check in” every now and then. Another thing that has helped is that Sharon’s family has made me a part of their family. So many things I miss: having the outside light turned on when I come home at night; starting the truck when it was very cold so that it would be warm; his whistle; his giggle that only I heard; his “good morning”; his singing; his smile; so many things, but I what I miss most is feeling his arms around me.

Questions 7 & 8 & 11

7: What do you like about your role as a wife and a mother? What did you dislike?

I loved being a wife - I knew I was loved and I liked knowing I belonged to grandpa and he belonged to me. I don’t think there was anything about being a wife that I didn’t like. I enjoyed taking care of my kids when they were babies. It got harder because I was not a very good disciplinarian and so things were a bit chaotic at times. I enjoyed listening/talking with my children and still do. I didn’t like cooking or cleaning.


8: Because it’s typical that husbands take the lead in household, did you have a lot of say in your marriage or was it whatever he says, goes? Was it hard to stand back and have him take the lead, even when you didn’t agree? How did you handle that? 11: When there was a disagreement between you and grandpa. How id you two repair the hurt? Was there a time of thinking you didn’t want to be married anymore and if so, how did you go on?

When we were first married I was more than happy to let grandpa take the lead and don’t remember having a problem with it. But as I got older I developed an independent nature and sometimes grandpa and I were at odds about things. I discovered after we had been married for a long time that if I would just state my ideas and let him think about it for a while he was more willing to discuss. (I wish I had figured this out earlier in our marriage) As grandpa said I sometimes would run a subject into the ground ( and I know he tuned me out). He would
sometimes walk away from an disagreement because he thought it would turn into an big argument which is what he remembered from his childhood. But most of the time one of us would “give in” because the disagreement wasn’t worth continuing or important. There was never a time when I didn’t want to be married

6th question

6: When your children were growing up, did you let them explore and be open to ideas about their gender, society stereotypes, etc. or did you teach them how society viewed certain issues. For example, did you let your daughters play with cars in the dirt and did you let your sons play with dolls and play dress up or did you tell them that dolls and dresses are for females only and cars and dirt are for boys only.
When our children were young there was no reason to discuss gender ideas or society stereotypes because we were all comfortable with who we were and the subject didn’t come up (that I remember). We never told our kids that they couldn’t do something because they were female/male. In fact, the girls helped in the barn and with the livestock as well as the guys. Although there were some things that their dad didn’t ask them to do because they were girls. (they were happy about that) I think the reason the girls helped outside was because more hands were needed and that wasn’t the case in the house. Consequently the guys didn’t do too much in the house and they had their chores outside. I remember one time when your dad (Randy)was home from Fargo I asked him to help me with dishes because I had to go somewhere that evening - he looked at me and said “that’s women’s work” Boy, did that get me steamed so I retorted “ok, next time the cows get out, that’s men’s work”. I don’t know where he got that idea because I don’t remember either grandpa or me saying “that’s womens/mens work”. I don’t remember if he helped me or not. I also remember Barbara telling me that she was asked a similar question in a college class and she told them of the time that your dad was giving he a knuckle sandwich” (ask John what that is if you don’t know) quite often and I told her that since she and your dad (Randy) were the same size at the time she should “give it too him” and she did. Her class mates were surprise that her mother told her to beat up her brother. Barbara didn’t really like to help outside so she often would get a meal ready so that I could help outside since I would rather do that than cook. We all helped with baling hay and stacking it in the barn

Flowers from my sons

The flower shop in town delivered this pretty bouquet on valentines day from Randy and David

A side trip from the questions and answers.

We had our mid winter classic chorale concert this afternoon. We did good!!! Besides the chorale we had The Northern Lights Quintet; Mary Hanninen played and sang a song she wrote; She and I played a piano duet; I played a piano solo, venturing out of my comfort zone by playing a jazzy piece; Walt and Anita Hannemann sang accompanying themselves on the guitar and violin; Mike Poole sang a solo; and the Pine Avenue Quartet (I accompany them) sang two numbers -Blue Moon and Unforgettable. This concert was the chorales "thank you" to St. Johns Lutheran church for letting us use their facilities for rehearsals and concerts. The free will offering went to their new pipe organ fund

questions 4 and 5

4: What were the women’s roles in society? What were men’s roles? Did you agree with these roles?

There weren’t too many options for women 50 years ago - yes, college but mostly for teaching, or the nursing field or maybe air line hostess (which I thought would be fun but I was too tall ) I think most women expected to become wives and mothers. It’s interesting, though, to read about women my age who have done unusual things. Men, I think, have always, been the ones who think they need to be in control, make the most money and their wives are the ones to clean, cook and take care of children. Fortunately this has changed and most younger husbands are more willing to help with cleaning, cooking and taking care of their children. When I was a young woman I pretty much agreed with this concept but I as I got older I changed my thoughts. When grandpa was home and after our children were grown he would get supper ready on the days that I was teaching. And as he got older he was more willing to help with things around the house when he could.



5: How did you and grandpa decide on how to raise your children? Was there a specific way you wanted to raise them? Did grandpa have a different view? If so, how did you agree on this?

We didn’t actually sit down and discuss how to raise our children. When we were young premarital counseling where those kind of questions were discussed didn’t exist. Since we both grew up in the same church
and town we had pretty much the same values. After we moved to Park Rapids and the children were in school we did agree that we wanted our kids to go to church with kids they knew in school. And that’s why we started going to Faith Baptist. And for the most part that worked out well. Discipline - grandpa was pretty much a “black and white” sort of person. If one of the kids was suppose to be home at, say, 11:00 he meant 11:00 not 11:05. Neither one of us was consistent though. I thought grandpa was too harsh and he thought I was too lenient. But our children turned out well and I see them saying and doing some of the things with their children that we did with ours.

Questions 2 & 3

2: What did you look for in a lifetime partner?

50 some years ago most people met, fell in love, got married and didn’t consciously think about what they wanted in a lifetime partner.

3: In the 50’s, how were women viewed and men viewed?

I think for the most part women were viewed as homemakers and men were viewed as the head of the house and made the living for the family

1st question

1: At what age did you get married? What was it like to be dating/marryng a man that was 10 years older than you? Did your parents approve?

I noticed grandpa one Sunday shortly after he got home from the Army. He was so handsome in a brown pin striped suit. I think I fell in love with him then. When I was in high school we had a youth group that went to other churches in the area to share in their evening services. Something like the worship teams we have now in our churches. Actually I was not old enough to be in this group but was asked to go because I could play the piano. Grandpa was one of the guys with a car. A couple of friends of mine knew I was “smitten” with him so they made sure I was in the front seat in the middle. He told me later that he knew that he would marry me but at the time he figured that he shouldn’t push it and since I didn’t know this it was very painful to see him with other women. I remember one Sunday that he had “Dorothy” (one of the ladies he liked) in the car with him. He told me that he was taking her back to Mpls where she worked. Oh my, was I jealous! !. When we actually started dating I was in my junior year. Grandpa drove an ice cream truck (like Schwan’s) and when I walked home from school I so hoped I would see him coming in from his route. I loved being with him. I was 18 when we got married. My mother was not well during my high school days and dad was very busy with his business so I’m not sure that they paid much attention to what I did. I was always a “good” girl so they probably thought they had nothing to worry about. But I do know that they - mom especially - did not want me to marry grandpa. Mother very much wanted me to go to college because it was always something she wished she could have done. I thought about it but I knew that if I did go to college I probably would not marry grandpa. I never regretted my decision.

Questions

I've been feeling a little blue this week and didn't really know why because the dismal weather we've having lately doesn't usually bother me. I know why now: my granddaughter who goes to college in Portland, OR sent me a serious of questions she asked me to answer. It's for a class she is taking. I'll post the questions now and post my answers later. Maybe it will give you something to think about. Ok- here they are:



1: At what age did you get married? What was it like to be dating/marryng a man that was 10 years older than you? Did your parents approve?



2: What did you look for in a lifetime partner?



3: In the 50's how were women viewed and men viewed?



4; What were the women's roles in society? What were men's roles? Did you agree with these roles?



5: How did you and grandpa decide on how to raise your children? Was there a specific way you wanted to raise them? Did grandpa have a different view? If so, how did you agree on this?



6: When your children were growing up, did you let them explore and be open to ideas about their gender, society stereotypes, etc or did you teach them how society viewed certain issues. For example, did you let your daughters play with cars in the dirt and did you let your sons play with dolls and play dress up or did you tell them that dolls and dresses are for females only and cars and dirt are for boys only.



7: What do you like about your role as a wife and mother? What did you dislike?



8: Because it's typical that husbands take the lead in households, did you have a lot of say in your marriage or was it whatever he says, goes? Was it hard to stand back and have him take the lead, even when you didn't agree? How did you handle that?



9: What was dating like when you dated? Do you think dating has changed with your children? Do you think dating now is different than when you dated? Do you think you will date again?



10: What was love like in your relationship? Was it love at first sight or did you love grow?



11: when there was a disagreement between you and grandpa, how did you two repair the hurt? Was there a time of thinking you didn't want to be married anymore and if so, how did you go on?



12: Now that grandpa is gone, how are you dealing with the separation? Do you think you are handling it well? What is/has been the hardest thing to deal with since grandpa?



Brownie - feel free to lend your view on your dad and me

and anyone else can chime in, too